Step Your Game Up!

If you're a tranny, shouldn't you step your weave game up? Your Lee Press-On nail game? Your MAC Studiofix game up? Come on now.

So I'm at Starbucks...OH HELL! Not THAT one...a different one! I'm getting my half shot, grande caramel frappuccino, JUST half a shot please, handed to me and I'm seeing the Lee Press-Ons falling off, the weave is like Rose Royce-Love Don't Live Here Anymore-and that MAC Studiofix was amazing! I felt like I was watching Rachel Ray ice a chocolate cake yall.

"Maam! MAAM!" OMG! I got so scared because you know my history with trannies...."Yes?" "Did you say you wanted a shot or half a shot?" For those of you who know how much I love my Starbucks and how much I hate this question, brace yourselves...why do they have the little individual boxes that can be written in if they aren't gonna be written in? I do spend like way too much money there to have them ask me the same question that I JUST answered 6 times...But I'm scared so I say in my I'm-so-sweet-please-don't-kill-me voice,"Oh yeah...just a half a shot please..." "You just want one shot? You know I have to charge you for a whole shot." Did he just tell me that he has to charge me for a whole shot? Does he really think $.50 is going to matter at this point? I'm already paying almost $5.00 for this yummy goodness. As I look up to tell him for the 55th time that yes, I only want a half of a shot, I stare into his light blue contacts...WHY ME GOD???!!!! WHY ME???!!!! I start to stutter and I'm trying not to laugh!!! That junk was mesmerizing. I had so many questions: does he know that I know that that isn't really his natural eey color? Does he know that gold Lee Press-Ons and light blue contacts just don't mix? Does he know that he's hypnotizing me with his tranny glory?

Do you know that when he handed me my drink, it had a full shot in there?