Immature or Immature...Who Cares?

I'm just gonna start this off by saying that Myspace is a beast.

Last year I was doing my daily people search (don't front! You know you've done it too!) and I "happened upon" my ex...get ready yall...it's about to be a good one...

Well, see, things didn't end happily. Let's just say our relationship ended with a crow bar, another girl and a bunch of lies. It was ridiculously traumatic and my poor little heart was broken. Fast forward like 5 years and we're back at Myspace. I see him, frontin like he's cool and whatever. Nothing too special about his page. Some dumb red devil graphics and all these apparently deep quotes. I was already bored. Then I looked over at his blogs. Why did he have a blog on his page called "This Ex of Mine"? I click on it and it's BLOCKED! I struggled with why I wanted to read it so badly. Who cares?! OMG! Now I HAVE to read it! I clicked on all of his other dumb blogs and they are all public. Feeling defeated yet slightly satisfied that he wasn't doing anything in his life, I called one of my friends and told her that I found him and about his dumb blog.

"Guess who I found today?"

"OMG! Ok, this is fun...umm...that girl from high school who..."

"Dude, I found Mark* (*names have been changed to protect the inn-wait, he wasn't innocent!)"

"What?! Ok so what's going on? Is he married? Does he have 100 kids? What?"

"Well, he's still a total loser BUT he has this blog that I wanna read but you can only read it if you're one of his friends."

"So what's the problem?"

"What do you mean?"

"Hello! Fake Myspace page!!!"

Now, I can see those judgmental eyes rolling around in those judgemental heads. Let's just hold the judgment until the end of the story. Thanks.

Of course I pretend that I just couldn't do something like that. It's sooo immature and blah blah blah. How about I get a call a few hours later:

"Ok, it's done. Now, I made the page and the girl now has 11 friends. Send him a friend request!"

Loves it! Not gonna lie! I go to the page and it's purple and black, Angelina Jolie is like the main picture and Fergie's "London Bridge" is playing. SOOO classic. "I" send a friend request and go about my business. The next morning I check this girl's Myspace email...We're in! Let's call this girl umm...Julie (why am I playin?! That's what we called her). I go into the blog, copy and paste it, email it to a few friends just in case something ever happened to my computer and I was the only person who had a copy...please, I just wanted everyone to see it. So it's about some girl that he was dating and how he was pretty much playing her. It totally brought me back to 5 years ago, standing in the living room catching this loser...

"Dear Mark, does this mean you're single?" Wait, what? Did I really just send my ex an email pretending to be this Julie girl? YUP! Why did he write me back like instantly?! No really.

"Hey Julie, yeah I'm single. I'm looking at your 'about me' section and there isn't anything there. Tell me about yourself." What? Really? He's like 30 and Julie is like 23. I send our correspondence to my friend and she's like, "What are you doing?" How do I answer that? "Umm...I'm pretending to be this dumb girl in hopes of humiliating him in the near future?" I mean, really. He sends "me" another email asking me for a copy of my Black Eyed Peas cd. I'm thinking, "I KNOW he's not about to set up a date! I KNOW he isn't!" Why did he ask "me" out to lunch? AND he wanted to go the very next day!!! WHAT?!

So I accepted...what did I tell you about those judgmental eyes?!

We were set to have lunch at a burrito place at 11:30 the next day. I was loving the fact that he was going to show up and get stood up by some 23 year old he met on Myspace. I tell one of my friends thinking it was sooo brilliant and THEN she ups the anti by saying:

"This is too good. Someone has to see this!"

"What are you doing at 11:30?"

"Eating at *blank* burrito place!"

Please tell me she just said that!!! HAHAHA!

She calls me when she gets there and I'm describing what he looks like to her. We get off the phone and 5 minutes later I get a text: the eagle has landed...

I can't even explain how hilarious this was to me. I mean, I did spend endless hours crying about him and finding out all sorts of things he told me were lies. So he like totally deserved it! What's a little Myspace lunch? ;) I'm getting a play-by-play:

"Ok, he's sitting at the bar and every time someone walks in he perks up....But then he sinks back into his stool when he realizes it's not her! HAHAHAHAHA!" I'm simultaneously sending an email to my friend(s) who I would love to share in the joy. "He's getting on his Blackberry...check "your" messages!"

"I" get a message from him FRONTING! "Hey Julie, it's Mark...here's my number if you ever want to give me a call." Oh really? Please!

He stays there for 45 minutes! 45 minutes dog! Can anyone hear me?! He sat at this place for 45 minutes waiting for a 23 year old girl he "met" on Myspace to show up! This was nothing but pure unadulterated glory.

My spies left after 45 minutes and he was still there when he left. "I" emailed him and told him I forgot all about our lunch date. He wanted to reschedule...I deleted the page. Wait, my friend actually deleted the page because I knew I couldn't do it. It was too good!

So, now here come the judgmental eyes...listen, I know that setting up a fake Myspace page and setting up a fake date all in the hopes of humiliating this jerk is immature...But so is cheating on your girlfriend ;)