The Doorbell

How about I'm asleep all cozy in my bed a few months ago when I wake up to the doorbell ringing. I was having a dream that I was at the airport and you know how there is a ding dong right before they make an announcement? Well, it did in my dream. Once I realized that it wasn't my dream and someone outside my door trying to kill me, I freaked.

It was 3am...who the HECK is at my door at 3am?! I mean for real! So I hop up and think of my escape plan...I don't have one. I call 911 (so serious) and I'm instantly balling.

"911 what's your emergency?"

"Someone is ringing my doorbell!!! (whispers)"

"Ok maam, did you look out the peephole?" Ok, now that, to me, is the DUMBEST thing ever! I mean, I'm "safe" in my room with my door locked. WHY would I look out the peephole so that I could get shot in the eye when the murderer sees that I can see him?! Not me jack! Not today!

PLEASE! So anyway, so I'm shaking, crying, trippin. I realize that this is what people go through right before a home invasion (or a murder). I'm looking around my room for a weapon. I saw some books...dumb...I then saw this vase. That sounds dumb too right? WRONG! It's heavy and thick so I was going to use it to push my attacker out of the way and then I was going to make a run for the door. I know, so smart! (haters)

So the 911 operator hangs up. I still don't know why but I was seriously petrified. This is the most scared I have ever been in my life. No kidding. Well, when I was little, I was on a dinosaur egg hunt at Bosch and some genius put the watermelons, I mean eggs, on a bee hive and they were seriously trying to kill us. I ran like there were free jellies at the end of the road!

I called 911 back and they are like, "Maam? Did something happen to make you call back?" WHAT?! I was like,"Why did you hang up?! I'm scared!" Like a little baby girl...all of the sudden I hear all these doors closing. I'm like,"Is that the police?!" "I believe so." I believe so?! What a hack! I'm sitting up here crying my life away and he tells me he believes the police are outside?! I'm gonna need some confirmation on that one. He confirms.

I run out of my room to open the door. Let me just set this picture: I had been awake for about 15 minutes, my hair was all over the place, my shirt was soaking wet from my tears and the doorbell was STILL ringing... I open up the door, tears streaming down my face. There are 3 police officers outside. They look stunned. Literally. Why was the officer like, "we fixed your doorbell." Did he just say he fixed my doorbell?!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA! He's like, "I just mashed it to the side...Maybe a bird hit it." My place was inside of a building so no bird was flying around in there. I'm like, "OMG! Thank you so much! I don't know...maybe I watch too much tv. I'm just scared because (whispers) I'm alone..." If there was in fact a murderer, I wasn't gonna say I was alone so that he could hear me! Because you know murderers hide under the stairs...

I know it seems so dramatic and silly but I'm alive aint I?!